How long can i still smile like this Don't ask me to cheer up, i know it isn't so simple. I know the way they treated me is different. That's all. I seriously don't need KPOS to tell them how i feel, i seriously don't need you people to pity me. Cause everything just show clearly to me
Why i always need to bear with my tears and smile for people who are care for me. Who really uses heart to feel how pain, how hurt i am, why they will always find ways to cheer me up, why they just use so much effort to explain to me why is all those things happening. I don't know why, they just doesn't flow the same blood as me, they don't even stand a big part in my life you know, they just happen to pass by and concern me like my family, what iszit all about man, i don't even know either or should i use seriously? They don't use different ways to treat me cause i'm in a course that seem to be no future to everyone, they wouldn't treat me differently when i'm not clever as others. Why must i be such '
Wei Da' to bear thsoe tears, and laugh like nothing happen, huiyu are you dumb?
Sometimes i don't know why, the names to them is such important which they never be like this before. They don't use to care about names last time, they just think that what you did your best is alright. Now, is totally the other way round, they use the same eye sight that people use to look at me, they use the same thinking that other parents does, which they don't use to be like this, seriously ): Am i too sensitive? or iszit really the way i feel? My hard work don't seem to be confirm, no one know that my hard work, the result, the word '
great job' from my teacher's mouth is so important to me, cause i need to be confirm, i need my parents to be proud of me, not just saying " What else you know" i really seem to disgrace them with my hard work.
Don't think that i cry over little things, you know from the since of the day i started school till now, they seem no interest in my course, they thought i go school to enjoy, they don't even ask how's my day in school. But towards him, they always have little talk like, "
He seem so tired, i dont know why now adays teachers are so mad, letting them so late than dismiss" What about me? I also dismiss late, or even later than him, but i so seem like a robort to them. Don't think i'm a ghost i don't need concern ok? I need people to love to dotes also! i admit, they dotes me in 2008, but the starting of 2009, everything i can say everything i spended is My own saving! What is it all about man, i thought it's a big deal, but seriously is a pieces of BLANK EMPTY PAPER to them, they think it's
li suo dang ran. Huiyu, whatever you do is always not be needed alright, so you just shut up will do!
Ohgosh, i'm such weak. Why i got affect by words just like this. What's so big deal with my course man, what if i say, i going to give up? Like what i said yesterday my words are nothing, even if i drop out, they will just laugh at my stupidness, and blame me not listening in the first place. Save me man, god! I'm such lousy till whatever people said i'm affected the whole of my mood. I look so unglam now, seriously.
maybe sometimes, i really use to be alone, or maybe sometime to them, love is really nothing.Sometimes, i'm such jealous that some families or some parents they support their child in everything, maybe their child will find them naggy asking them "
how's school " But it's really a great support towards. Why i just asking so simple thing i couldn't get it at all. Why? Maybe whatever i do is always got doubt. And, my friend seem to be suspected, but why his friends, were always so warmly welcomed ):
huiyu drop her tears alone again