understand, i hope

Everyone can choose not to believe me, but not you my mum.
people can choose to look down on me, but not you my mum .
i though that all this while, you support me in my studies.
But who knows in fact, in your heart is all doubts .
Finally you said it out today .

It is more hurting than losting the important him.
yet you doesn't know, you didn't feel that it's so hurting.
Yet you blamed me, showing attitude. I'm sorry for that .
I can't do things which my own family doesn't give support.

finally i know, everything i do is not supported and trusted.
finally i know, and this fact is making me so so so sad.
whenever i go out, i will think will you be alone at home or not
Or will i drifted with this family or not. i worried so much,
yet .. changed is all doubt.

i thought of working hard because i wish im the part of the
reason you can be proud of . yet all is just doubt, i cried for
no reason again.

Http://distance-fear.blogspot.com.

My dearest charmaine,
I feel like adding something on .
Though she is with me, but i can feel her heart is thinking about you guys.
She keep thinking of that question how can she save.
And well, yes. She might be studying with me this few weeks.
but i hope you know she care for you girls
more than she does to me. I hope it dont affect any sistership of
you girls. (:

Xingann, i hate you so much ok ?. Cheer please

Whisper, smile is allow.

Another study day, actually didn't study much for today.
But i complete copying my maths worksheet.

Just able to sit down posting my blog.
and honestly i have nothing to update ! (:
Ok, lets just talk about today.



Today .. suppose to go and collect contact lens
from Dingdong, but in the end, didn't.
i meet xiingann for lunch with mummy, junkiat & xinganfu.

& i accompany xiingann to her grandma house.
and reach there was watching tv at first, than re-write my
schedule again .. and start copying maths worksheet.
Write, stop, write, stop. Xiingann's family (real) is so cute la.
After finish writing about 5 plus ! Hands are really pain.

Mummy called ask me buy dinner.
so i go home, with xiingann and xiinganfu.
while walking to the bus stop, i saw .. nicholas ? (tan)
Lols, he was asking why i didn't answer his calls this and that.
i feel kind of sway actually ahahas.



& while walking to the bus stop, i saw firdausss !! :D
So surprise to see him ? I was like, turn back than saw him ?
like happy loh ahahahs.
i saw imran too -.- kind of spoilt mood ?

Ok, than walk walk walk, take bus home.
bought dinner and send xiingann to her house downstairs,
i walked home.

My day is boring yet so happily ended !!
ok, im going to copy more maths worksheet
N level ends: 34days .

Good Night

i tried not to listen, i tried not to know. Yet i believe.
i feel nothing, i touch nothing. cause there is nothing.
Nothing for me to see, nothing for me to believe .
I tried my best to do everything you requested.
to me, it is easy to fall inlove, yet so hard to forget.
i want to be a happy girl, but i cant ):
I am trying to be one .

Recently ...

I have not been blogging for days.
Because..
I couldn't find time to blog, and i don't know what to blog

Today ...

My first week of N level has ended.
next week pratical, must work harder for all subject.
huiyu jiayou !

And hopefully, i am still studying hard.
I dont intend to give myself any break, unless special event.
and my schedule, im following well ! (just keep it this way)
wheeeeeeeeees * Huiyu is a busy girl now !

And finally, tomorrow i finally start my september 1 week
holiday ! Dont know what im talking right ?
let me tell you .
First of september im preparing hard for the paper next day.
second of september, im preparing hard for the paper next day.
third of september, im still preparing hard for my paper .
Fourth my last paper of this week.

So i totally cant enjoy my holiday .
Not at all ): Im rather tired recently.
But think about it, it is worthing at times ! (:

As those paper i taken, i couldn't say that it is easy, or difficult.
I just gonna say, i dont have much confident . ):
The whole of my examination, i find hard concentrate.
am i thinking of something, im not really sure.. but i hope not.

Ok, i shall just end here.
Good night .

Playing : 李圣杰 - 最近

i'm trying hard, really ! Tears, it wouldn't be flowing anymore.
Smile, slowly .. fading again. I realise, i tried.
nothing, nothing is possible. Even .. nothing .
i couldn't deny, i just have to admit .
I know i can't, but i tired my best.
what i can say is, im trying.