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So long so long...

"It's been a long time since i updated.... *blahblahblah*" Yep, I know I've been repeating this for the previous entry, previous previous entry, but....

IT'S REALLY BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I UPDATED!!!
OK, this time round is not that long.. Less then a month since i last updated.

Oh well, recently have been busy enjoying clearing my PH leave. And also busy thinking about "Changing Job". Yes, I'm going to change my job again, this time might not be just shifting to ANOTHER work place, but shifting a whole brand new industry too. Just wanting to get something right, and let me STOP changing job/work place. It's irritating though.





Life At Work,

Well, it's really upset to say that, I'm going to leave my current work place (which tomorrow is my last day) It's an enjoyable 4 months + 3 months spending there, and know those people inside. I'll just save those grandmother story about how awesome i think they are. In fact, at times we will definitely see the other side of one, and starting realizing what is it all about. And from this place, i learned. I learned how realistic one can be, how fast can one change, and how nice one can be if you're one of the favourite. I get it, I got it.

I know every where there is politics, I know if there's women, there's human there will surely be politics. But i just couldn't accept "Politics". Why do we have to live under comparing, jealousy, envy, and hate. If all the above doesn't exist, we'll have a peace world. And how awesome is it, everyone will be helping each other, everyone will be happily going to work, everyone will NOT be tired of work no matter how busy, or how long we stand for the day, like only physically tired but not mentally? And not helping each other, just because it might just deduct your points in manager's eye, or even do it for the sake of manager's sight. Well, I'm looking forward to the next chapter of life.

This chapter of my life, I learned alot from y'all. No matter in life, or at work. I gain alot, thank-you.

To be frank, I got really angry when gossiping or rumors just pass my ears, and seriously... what else i can even do but accept it? Sometimes, He just told me "Just ignore what people say, we don't live to please them, we don't take pay from them" Yes i know them all, I don't born to please anyone, I be myself, I wear what I like, I say what i want, Cause i'm born this way. But I not sure why, I'll even care of what y'all think. Even buying my favourite wedge, I've to consider about will I get comments like, I'm trying to imitate? That's crazy! I care so damn much about what y'all think which I'm not suppose to, don't need to. But... I really enjoy, and love every moment i spend in Reds Hairdressing. I swear.



* * * * * * * *

Other then work, My part of my life,
Family, ♥ and GFs

Dear ♥,
Thanks for being there, thanks for giving me all your tolerance.. your love and care. Though sometimes i disagree what you said, but i still care deep inside. You know i know lah uh :) I really cherish this relationship. There's still a long way to go! All i've to say is,

YOU'RE STILL SO AAWEESOMMEE (Y)
♥













GFs, It's awesome to have awesome girlfriends like y'all.
You girls are awesome as usual.
♥♥
Thank you for accompanying me down, so many years.
Definitely you girls are a part of me







Not forgetting a place, I enjoy working at..



Signing off*

Remember to cherish, and love always. Cherish before regret.
:-*

2011, 2012

Belated, WELCOME 2012.



I know I'm super late. But well, I'm still gonna post this cause i always wanted to. To remind myself, how awesome my 2011 was.

Although 2011, i stopped my studies after my graduated from HFD, but it's still an awesome year. I started working part time, full time and through out this one year, I changed job/work place for thrice. I met a number of people, they enter my life and create chapters in my life. And also, i did lose a number of my good friends.

I could only say, my life did change alot throughout this one year, like growing up, facing problems myself, (at times, hahahahahahahha) And I start to be LESS affected by people's words and action, though i still got affected at times. By well.. I believe that every level in our life, there will surely be something you have to deal with it, harder and harder every year. Like now? I've dealing with the reality society, 360 degrees changes, and wearing mask. It's everything everyone have to go through i guess..

Thank-you 2011.. I really enjoy my ride with you :)
2012, hope you'll do it better!


* * *

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR..
:)

Personal thoughts.

its a thousand billion unwilling to login to blogger and post something i felt. Words could describe me better then speaking though.

Well.. I felt lonely. I felt like I'm not love and shower with care (not relationship) I felt like the world just turn against me out of the sudden. Though this is how life gonna be, like a bitch. But i really can't take it. No even my f_____ is supporting me, they doubt me, turn me down, and blame me, even saying the word that hurt me most. "You changed". How hurting is this, god? I'm just going through what I must go through, and everyone start pointing fingers behind me, saying i change.. My friends, my f_____.. who else?

Sometimes just sometimes, i feel like giving up every single thing and just die. Who the fucking hell know, i'm fucking tired of all these shits? Who the hell understand a single thing i'm going through? Who will ever understand me? And sometimes i just think, Why can i be myself? Why can't people just accept WHO I REALLY AM? Why not even my f_____ can accept who i really am..

Come to think of it, leading this life of mine, is really tiring.. I hope i could end all this, just end it.. I hope all the people i really care knows, their actions are hurting me, their words are killing me, and my heart is hurting real badly..

All i could say is... Yes, because of one relationship, i lose my friends (i guess) Yes, people think i'm a life time bitch. I need not further explain much about that. And yes, since that day, till today I'm standing alone facing this shits. I have no one to talk to, no one supporting my decision, fucking no one. I just tell myself "Yes, now you see the bigger picture of everyone" But... to be frank, it hurts badly, my friends, my f____.

That feeling is like you trap everything inside your body, those thoughts those feelings, those heart breaking, all kept inside you. And no one is there for you, no one is there to even SUPPORT you. How hopeless isit? How does it feels like? Just tell me, what would you even do?

My f____, my friends, i really miss how you supported me no matter my choices are wrong. I really miss how you held me up when i fall badly, I really miss the hug you gave me, and trusting me..

Thanks for letting me having them once. It's time to go, I'll go..

**

Work is getting much more tiring then before, just some politics to deal every single day. It's hard but i believe everything will end soon. I really hate it when you're working at such a nice place, with awesome people but POLITICS enter.. Everyone against me and him. Ohwell, so who know i didn't enjoy during my working hours? Who even know i'm dealing shits every single day?

P/S: Sometimes I hope, you can flip my daily life, like a book.. So you know that, who tiring I'm living every single day, how much i need you, how much i love you, how much i respect you, how much i misses home everyday and how much it hurts when you start to doubt me, shouting at me, or even hurting yourself.. my dearest mother, my dearest daddy. & Just because of my mistake, my not thoughtful enough, leading to your ignorance.. It hurts, it hurts badly to know that, I'm thrown alone now.

P/s: Just wish that you completely know what's wrong with my life.